‘Police Chief: Gun in the Hand Beats Cop on the Phone

6 Responses to ‘Police Chief: Gun in the Hand Beats Cop on the Phone

1. Ronbo says:

   February 13, 2016 at 10:02

   God made men tall, strong and mean…but Sam Colt made all men (and women) equal.

   ….especial with the world famous Colt .45 automatic pistol loaded with 7 rounds of hollow point round in the right hand of justice.
2. Francis W. Porretto says:

   February 13, 2016 at 10:12

   Alongside that bit of wisdom goes this one: police dispatchers decide to whom cops will go first and fastest on a basis that’s never revealed to us. A story I think is just a joke lends emphasis:

   Smith was watching television when he heard a commotion from his back yard. He got up and peered out the back window, and immediately saw two men in dark garb trying to break into his garden shed. As it would be for most of us, his first impulse was to dial 911.

   “Onteora County. What’s the nature of your emergency?” the operator said.

   “There are two men in dark clothing trying to break into my outbuilding,” Smith said. “Please send a squad car over as fast as possible.”

   “I’m sorry, sir,” the operator replied, “but just now there’s no one I can send you. Please be patient and a squad car will get to you eventually.” With that the connection ended.

   Smith was not pleased. No one he can send? Why not? After a moment’s thought, he decided on a different tack. He dialed 911 again.

   “Onteora County. What’s the nature of your emergency?”

   “Hello, this is Smith from a couple of minutes ago. I just called to tell you that you needn’t hurry to send anyone. I just shot the two burglars myself.” And with that, he hung up at once.

   In less than two minutes there were three squad cars parked in front of Smith’s house. Six cops and two police dogs dealt with the very much alive would-be burglars. When the two were cuffed and stuffed into the back of one of the squad cars, one of the cops knocked at Smith’s front door. Smith opened it and smiled his broadest smile.

   “You said on the phone that you’d shot them,” the cop, a sergeant, said accusingly.

   “You said,” Smith replied, “that there was nobody you could send.”

   Verbum sat sapienti.
   • Bo Chandler says:

     February 13, 2016 at 14:40

     Reminds me of a situation some of my co-workers were in. We were security guards at at an inner city hospital at the time.
     A former psych patient turned up to the kids ward in the dead of night. The medical ward staff were so lazy with their protocols that they buzzed him through two doors without bothering to look at the cams or quiz him through the intercom.
     He poured kerosene over himself and advanced on their reception desk with a knife in one hand and a lighter in the other. The staff ran into the staff room and locked it. Mercifully the lunatic left the children in the other rooms alone as they were at this stage completely unguarded. A code black was triggered and the two guards on duty went to attend having no idea what there were about to encounter (they expected it was just some kid who refused to go to bed and was getting a bit stroppy).

     By the time they arrived the lunatic had broken the porthole window on the staff room door and was reaching through it, trying to unlock the door from the other side. The women within were screaming. The guards radioed control to send the cops and made the foolish mistake of mentioning the knife.

     For three minutes the guards, armed only with a fire extinguisher, had to harry the lunatic who was alternately reaching through the window and turning to fend off the guards. Then came the call over the radio. “The police are here. They’ll be there in a few seconds.”

     Well, after another six agonisingly long minutes it became apparent that the police were not coming. One guard blasted the man with the fire extinguisher and the other rushed him using a mattress as a shield. Mercifully the man passed out, having succumbed to the fumes of the kerosene.

     The police arrived shortly thereafter and made their excuses. A review of the footage showed the first responders to arrive at the three minute mark and stop in the foyer, waiting for… a different unit who had stab-proof vests.

     That’s right. They had batons, pepper spray, tasers and guns, but for six minutes they stood by as the lives of two women were defended by two men armed with only a mattress and a fire extinguisher because they, our heroes in blue, didn’t have stab proof vests.

     Needless to say it was thereafter an unwritten protocol that the police were never to be informed if an assailant had a weapon. The cops were falling over each other to be the first on scene when it was only a matter of beating up on an unarmed perp, but as soon as the attacker had so much as a box cutter they suddenly started dragging their feet.

     Fucking cowards.
     • KG says:

       February 13, 2016 at 19:08

       “Fucking cowards.”
       Not all, but far, far too many.
       • Bo Chandler says:

         February 13, 2016 at 23:05

         As usual, the “equal opportunity” brigade get their foot in the door and are swiftly promoted before they get themselves or someone else on the street killed. Thereafter they climb the equal opportunity ladder and before you know it they’re the ones in charge of writing policy and choosing who gets hired.
         And that brings us to this point, the end of the line.
   • Ronbo says:

     February 14, 2016 at 01:00

     TOUCHE!