Time for a divorce?

Posted on March 12, 2013 by KG

When mere food encroaches on the space reserved for beer…..

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31 Responses to Time for a divorce?

  1. Seneca III says:
    March 13, 2013 at 00:36

    A few years ago the boss and I took a holiday in an isolated cottage in Scotland. We took two cars, a supply of food and some stuff you have to eat. I went direct to the cottage with the food and the stuff you have to eat in a couple of cold boxes whilst the boss went to Edinburgh station to pick up one of the offspring and the latest perambulating sperm bank that was trailing along behind her at that point in time and who were going to join us for a few days.

    I arrived first, despite having detoured to the local tackle shop for some further necessary supplies, unloaded and unpacked then sat outside in the midst of that quiet wilderness, cracked a tinnie and waited for the descent of the tribe.

    In due course they arrived and when the boss and the offspring went to the fridge for some milk (?) to put in their tea (?) there was a pathetic cry of despair “where’s the food” (meaning the stuff you have to eat and probably milk (?) as well) “the fridge is full of booze and bait.”

    “In the cold box” I replied whilst niftily whipping another tinnie out of a fridge almost as cold the atmosphere now emanating from the boss (the perambulating sperm bank had legged it at the first shout so he probably wasn’t as dumb as he first appeared – or had a ‘flight or fight’ response heavily weighted towards the former).

    I will never understand women or beta males, I suppose :cry: .

    Seneca III

  2. mawm says:
    March 13, 2013 at 03:02

    Hmmm…….. Just a stern word should do it. http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif The admiral is very good at keeping our ‘drinks’ fridge well stocked (yeah I know, I’m spoilt rotten) but I did comment on the fact that there were more bottles of wine in it than beer the other day.

  3. The Gantt Guy says:
    March 13, 2013 at 03:18

    Sounds like a familiar quandary. Just last weekend the Gantt Clan all climbed into the Mazda and set off for the appliance store. Previous agreement was the old fridge/freezer would take its rightful place in the GanttCave, to be stocked with life’s essentials (beer).

    As we approached the store, Mrs Gantt said “What if they offer a trade-in on the old fridge”?

    The response of “well great. That way you get your new unit and I get a new one too” didn’t go down too well. She tried to imply I’d misinterpreted what she’d said. More trouble ensued when I suggested I couldn’t think of any other reason she’d mention it!

    • KG says:
      March 13, 2013 at 05:29

      That conversation has an ominous, familiar ring……http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_sad.gif
      I should point out that a divorce is somewhat unlikely–any woman who can walk past a jeweller’s shop, utterly uninterested, but whose eyes light up at the ammo shelf in a gun shop is very definitely a keeper.

  5. HarvardPotatoHead says:
    March 13, 2013 at 07:03

    !!!WHS?*!!! Mein Gott in Cambridge BlackBerry and yours very trulily finalized the moniker of the refrigerator finally 2 “Beerator.” That ended the multicultural differences thereby enhancing our desire to embrace debate between yV.T having a long acquired taste for honey toned beer as versus BlackBerry’s lust for dark R black beer so down here on the 8 Ball Level, Algora Neanderthal “Embrace Debate” Konference Room with 69 crappers plus wall urinals**Also, what is better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ. hahahahahah oh my gotta beep incoming from Diplomatic Pouch re the toilet paper supply in the girl’s room***.

    *WHS= Wha’d he say?
    **urinals= pissers if U can remain erect and hit them.
    ***BlackBerry assed yV.trooly 2 ass U if you use toilet paper down there N D 56-57th Steaks so pls someone embrace an answer asap for MUST GO 10-4 over N out HarvardPotatoHead

  6. Contempt says:
    March 13, 2013 at 07:06

    What the hell did HPH say? That dude is too far out. Damn.

  8. mistress mara says:
    March 13, 2013 at 09:21

    Forget global warming … the real issue is why in hell anyone would wish to own a kanga’s scrotum. :shock: Run kangaroos, run.

    • KG says:
      March 13, 2013 at 09:50

      Kangaroos have been asking the same question. http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_scratch.gif

      • mawm says:
        March 13, 2013 at 18:22

        Well you know why kangaroos need scrotums – but why humans need roo scrotums is beyond me. (I have heard that human scrotums make good gear stick covers {for those who still know how to change gears} and become nice and polished after a few years). Yuck! http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_wacko.gif

  9. KG says:
    March 13, 2013 at 09:51

    This is cool:
    ‘The £1billion ‘time machine’ which could finally reveal mysteries of the universe: World’s largest telescope will finally be turned on tomorrow’
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2292165/Earths-largest-telescope-set-switch–reveal-came-from.html

    However, scientists caution that the array is unlikely to cast light on the mysteries of women.

    • Ronbo says:
      March 13, 2013 at 10:12

      @KG:

      Women are no mystery – all a man has to do is to tell the lady she is good looking, and then agree to be her slave forever. :mrgreen:

      • KG says:
        March 13, 2013 at 10:22

        Mine must be a little more complicated then, Ronbo. She doesn’t want a slave and regards looks as a trivial thing.
        :lol:

    • Darin says:
      March 13, 2013 at 10:24

      The study of women involves the expanded Heisenberg uncertainty principle,whereas the very act of thinking you know what she wants causes her to change her mind.http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_unsure.gif

      • KG says:
        March 13, 2013 at 10:29

        http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gif Brilliant!
        And Schrodinger’s cat must figure in that somewhere…..

        • Darin says:
          March 13, 2013 at 11:06

          Probably follows the three laws of Thermodynamics-
          #1 There is no free lunch
          #2 You can’t win
          #3 You can’t even quit playing the game
          http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_mail.gif

  10. Ronbo says:
    March 13, 2013 at 10:07

    @KG:

    Sorry mate, but after a few Bud Brewskis, I couldn’t help but improve the article you linked earlier:

    http://ronbosoldier.blogspot.com/2013/03/obama-plans-night-of-long-knives.html

    Neat title, huh? :mrgreen:

    BTW, I’m pretty sure the ARM website is a DHS front designed to catch and arrest trusting souls, so I thought they’d enjoy being the source of the leak. :mrgreen:

  11. KG says:
    March 13, 2013 at 10:24

    Great title. http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_good.gif
    By the way, did anybody tell you that calling Bud “beer” indicates a serious lack of taste? http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_smile.gif

  12. mistress mara says:
    March 13, 2013 at 13:06

    Men are no mystery .. all a woman has to do is tell him he has a BIG, beautiful willie and he will be her slave forever. (Or so I’m told.) :roll: