Ban Hands!

Posted on May 22, 2014 by KG

‘FBI: More People Killed with Fists and Hammers Than with Rifles and Shotguns
….Taken together, the rate of murder by fists and hammers was nearly 100 percent higher than the rate of murder by rifles or shotguns.’

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21 Responses to Ban Hands!

  1. Darin says:
    May 22, 2014 at 12:02

    Comment of the day under that article is from Archie Bunker-“More people are killed waiting in line at the VA hospital”

    http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_good.gif

  2. john says:
    May 22, 2014 at 16:00

    Yes, just casting my mind forward to the next mass hammer outrage, what does the panel suggest? The Estwing 16oz or should I be looking at the full 20oz?http://falfn.com/CrusaderRabbit/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_cool.gif

    • KG says:
      May 22, 2014 at 17:03

      hmmm.Estwing…a nice weapon in any calibre.

    • The Gantt Guy says:
      May 22, 2014 at 17:35

      We need to pass legislation banning those military-style, high capacity Assault Hammers!

      • KG says:
        May 22, 2014 at 18:22

        And life for fraudulently attempting to obtain one. (like pretending to be a boatbuilder or carpenter)

        • The Gantt Guy says:
          May 23, 2014 at 03:13

          Well, of course! Outside of certain specific professions, there is no legitimate need for such a heavy hammer. It’s obvious anyone wanting one can only have nefarious intent. He or she may not have actually committed hammer-murder yet, but they’re gonna, so they need to be locked away for the sake of the children.

  3. john says:
    May 22, 2014 at 18:27

    “If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning….” oops, sorry guys. Guess I got carried away and thought I was down at the Che Club. :mrgreen:

    • KG says:
      May 22, 2014 at 19:56

      :shock: Where’s my rubber mallet…..

    • The Gantt Guy says:
      May 23, 2014 at 03:17

      That song has been placed on the officially-sanctioned list of non-language and is therefore banned. Singing, writing or thinking about it places the community in mortal jeopardy.

      Say your good-byes to your loved ones, john. You’ve breached protocol and are in for a lengthy stay at the local re-education centre.

      Our agents will be there to remove you to our centre shortly. To protect your family, and the rest of society.

  4. KG says:
    May 23, 2014 at 03:23

    Aaaah yes..”society”….is that similar to “community”, a word which means whatever the nearest PC clown deems it to mean? ;-)

    • The Gantt Guy says:
      May 23, 2014 at 03:30

      Some words are given to specific meaning, Comrade.

      Words such as “hammer”, or “gun”, “firearm”, “weapon” expose the mind of the terrorist.

      Words such as “society”, “community”, “village”, “family”, “marriage” are more agents of free-association, and can mean whatever the speaker (or writer) intends.

      • KG says:
        May 23, 2014 at 03:34

        I see now. Obviously, the company I keep has caused me to become contaminated by false consciousness and capitalistic propaganda.
        Any spare places in this month’s re-education sessions, Comrade?
        (and what are you doing, up and about at this ungodly early hour?)

        • The Gantt Guy says:
          May 23, 2014 at 03:48

          Nobody volunteers for re-education at the Ministry of Love, comrade! I’m sure they’ll get round to you as soon as they’ve dealt with John (above).

          ’tis no longer ungodly – it’s approaching 6am and I’m on coffee #3. My usual wake time is 5, at which ungodly hour I normally let the treadmill take me for my run. Sadly, my back is done in at the moment, so I wake at my usual time, throw coffee, paracetomol and voltaren down my throat and commence working.

          My current project is an exercise in disproving all the known laws of physics, and spitting in the eye of the time/space continuum. I have a quantum of work (say, 15), and I have time (3) and people (4). People multiplied by time = the quantum of work which can be accomplished, and unfortunately for me, 3×4 does not = 15, and so – at least for a time – nights, weekends and mornings give me 1 additional person which means I end up with 3×5 which I can only hope will land me at 15.

          • The Gantt Guy says:
            May 23, 2014 at 03:48

            More to the point, what are you doing awake at this ungodly hour?

            • KG says:
              May 23, 2014 at 04:02

              Voltaren…pffft. We blokes take Endone+beer. In large quantities. The back still hurts, but it seems like it’s somebody else’s back. One is somewhat–um..removed, so to speak.
              Where were we?
              Ah yes…why up at 0300? Dunno, really. Just thinking about stuff, drinking coffee and eating two chocolate wheaten biscuits for breakfast.

          • KG says:
            May 23, 2014 at 04:03

            Re your 3:48. Now my head hurts.

            • The Gantt Guy says:
              May 23, 2014 at 04:23

              More Endone required then.

              Good you’re following a balanced diet, too. Fat, sugar, fibre and protein in the chic wheatens, and plenty of minerals in the coffee!

  5. KG says:
    May 23, 2014 at 03:38

    Didn’t Chairman Mao say something about “the nail that stands above the rest will be hammered down”?
    With what??